Trying to Remember this exists: Gaming, ADHD, and me (and maybe you?)

 So, I had forgotten this exists, and I want to try to write thoughts and ideas down because who knows maybe someone will like it?

At some point during COVID I finally was able to get a diagnosis for ADHD. Although the medications haven't changed my life as much as I hoped, knowing how my brain thinks and differs from others has been useful, and since I don't hear parts of my experiences I figured why not just spew it out into the world?

So, this blog is about tabletop gaming and I've found my gaming is impacted heavily by my ADHD and emotional states. First, actually showing up on time or at all to a session, even one I'm looking forward to can be tough. Some days going to the table feels terrifying and anxiety inducing even if I love my fellow players. Doubly so when you are pulling GM duty. For example my in person game group are 2 guys I've known since middle/high school so around 1998, I know them, I've heard good and bad from them. BUT I still get huge waves of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD, an extreme sensitivity to rejection and/or criticism that is heavily linked with neurodiverse people.) when I think about seeing them some days. After all, they asked why my nails were painted when I started painting them and that obviously signaled displeasure, also they hate that I'm not doing long shifts at a traditional job and am instead in school, no way I can bring up my struggles, it'd only cause them to not want to be around me anymore. Except, that is a lie. Most of those assumptions I just made and tend to make are tainted by RSD. My friends would support my struggles with mental health, and discovering my gender identity just as I support and supported them in similar struggles. But sometimes you can't fight that voice, and try to get up and get through the rest of the day so you struggle to go to a session. That's okay, but when you feel better try to explain to your group that having a no questions asked cancel or delay arrival policy would help. 

Being able to just say, "I won't make it tonight" without having to explain or deal with even well meaning questions is a god send, and going forward adding this idea into session 0 talks is a goal I have. Just everyone knowing it's safe and okay to not be present, and that the group has agreed to no t punish or even question those decisions feels like it would make me feel much better about joining new games both online and offline.

Next let's talk about the big one as far as ADHD and a lot of tabletop game groups. First fellow ADHD havers, let everyone know that you are trying to pay attention when your character is not active, and that doodling, fidgeting with something, stacking stuff, whatever works well for YOU helps you stay on task. Then try to not let yourself start surfing the net, watch videos, or anything that will truly pull you away.

Now, non-ADHD folks here's where you come in. In your game groups during session 0,  make sure to push back against super inflexible rules about technology use, or non-game aids at the table. Often it's difficult for me to self advocate as well as I should, and other people bringing it up helps a lot for those who like me have trouble in certain situations. Tech is a huge help for various groups at the game table and denying it entirely signals to those who rely on it that you don't want to play with them. Additionally, talk about adding a PAUSE(॥) card to the X and 0 cards, and that if people are feeling their attention wandering too far, it should be used to call for a 5 minute break. Once the ॥ card is played the GM or whoever played it gives the time everyone should be ready to start again by. (5 minutes is the suggestion but maybe someone will ask for 10 or 15 minutes depending on what is happening.) 

So, let's move on to Gamemastering with ADHD. I don't have much advice here, but I can mention the problem of hype focusing on creating a campaign/rules/game idea, and then right when it's ready losing that and being unable to run the game the way you had originally planned. Or the opposite being unable to have come up with anything and having to make it all up on the fly, hoping you can jot down any information or names you give the players so you can refer to it correctly later. This is where I think some tools come in handy. There are tons of amazing name, location, and even plot hook generators available and fine tuning them to your game and style is fairly simple. Additionally, sticky notes, to quickly jot down the great idea you just had before it flees your head entirely cannot be recommended enough. If you are the full improv GM and also cannot take notes for some reason, ask a player to note the who, what, where, of the session as you go and give you the notes at the end of each session. That and having a player  recap the previous session can often help jog your memory about the specifics of a campaign, or at least give you a starting off point.

Well I think I've ran out of thoughts to blurt out into the void. If I can remember I'll edit this entry into a more coherent article.

Nobody